1:24 a.m. - March 20, 2006
sometimes
Sometimes I wonder what it all means. Is it worth while? Is this where I should be?
Since middle school i've worked so hard to get where i am to be "normal" i suppose. And yet i wonder is this what i want? Sometimes i'm just ready to give up and just say "You were right, I won't achive or succeed. I give up." It's been a rought road that i had to fight for the whole way. I don't want to go into details since really no one cares and it's old news anyway. Maybe it's just one of those bad days and i've got the blues. or maybe it's been there all along with everything else i suppress inside of me. I miss the easyness of life. But then again i said the same thing then. Will I ever be what i want to be? Will have the things i've hoped and dreamed for? I'm starting to think no and that this is a waist and i should go back and do what's expected of me. Work in some low paying dead end job, live with my parents untill i'm forced to find a place of my own. Maybe get a two yeat digree but that's pushing it.
I need to get away.
I need to see my mother.
I need to stop all this and continue on the path i worked so hard to make.
I need to find out what I need.
I need all of this to go away.
Maybe i need to just give up
