12:22 a.m. - May 15, 2005
the end of the year. how sad
School is over. Wow i survived. Even though i'm startign to get the feeling that my family didn't think i would. Dad had me set up an appoiment w. Rudy for all of us to meet. it started off ok and what the meeting was about but turned into 'poor laura isn't smart enough to handle this' i wanted to cry. after all the hard work i've done. why do they still think i can't handel life on my own. Do they think it would have been better if i stayed in the lab school which was entirely Speciel Ed students? maybe graduated from there gotten some job somewhere maybe go to comunty college or work full time for 6 bucks an hour and live w. my parents for the rest of my life. I insisted on leaving that school and getting a real education at public school. i insited on going to college in arizona. far away from my fmaily. Myabe this is why i wanted to be so far away. So i wouldnt have to deal with this 'you can't handle this' shit. dad and Rudy picked apart my wanting to take japanese. so what i have an interst in anime and japan. why should that not be a reasion to take that class. they want me to take the 'easy' language being spanish. i've learnd the very basics of spanish i don't care. i want a language i have an instest in. no hola como esta mi llamo laura. ha i can't even spell in spanish. I just want to cornor my dad and say so what if i didn't get a new tutor. i was trying to work with the one i had. so what if a class was hard for me. life is hard! what do you mean i don't assuret my self? how do you think i got into arizona?! but i can't no matter how much i stand up for what i want my dad is always there to do his reality check. 'well you have a learning disabilty so..' what does that mean? i don't get it. i can't read between the lines, do math, study notes, take notes, spell,mangage my time, etc yet all of that can be blamed on my education b4 high school. I feel so so so nothing like i should have taken the easy, pitty laura rought in life. Myabe i should have left the lab school and gone to a privet school like monica or nancy. nancy, she was the lucky one. she was in the 'smarter' classes in school so she learned all the stuff to get her into a good high school then college. Monica left before 7th grade being able to re learn what lab school didn't teach her. and now she's in a good school. all i know is another meeting like that last one will NEVER happen again. unlike in grade school i have the final say.
The last weeks of school went by so slow. and yet before i knew it i was packing up and saying goodbye to Danielle. I hope she keeps in touch. well she better cuz i have her stuff in storage. lol. It was a bittersweet goodbye to my freshman year. I was sad to leave school and yet i'm happy i get to go home for awhile. I don't have many freinds left at home anymore but the ones that are there, i will be glad to see.
Now that school is over i plan to work and take a math class at montgomery college, the comunty college near home. I should email katie and get together with her and monica too. nancy says she won't be in DC this sumemr so i'll have to go to NYC. Then there is the anime expo i'm goign to with amanda in june. I'll be inuyasha and she'll be kikyou. that should be real fun.
We(dad and I) leave tomorrow morning our flight is at 9 i think and we are out of here by 7. yuck. we have an hour and 1/2 lay over in dallis then off to DC then home. I can't wait to get home to my mom. I hope to have an interesting summer.. but who knows. I'll be in spain soon too. donde esta el bano? (where is the bath room? are there 2 "n's)
Untill next time,
Laura
