12:21 a.m. - April 12, 2005
Baby save me your the only one I need...
It's lateish and i start thinking weird things at night. Just about life and stuff like that i guess. I was looking at her profile today. Sometimes i miss the friendship we shared, even if it was fake. I had not been that close to someone before and haven't been since. I'm not complicated, well not that i know of. It's just sometimes i get sad even though life has been good to me. Nothing serious i suppose just sad from time to time. Times like thease make me wonder if the path i chose was right. My goal in life has been to prove myself to the world and my family. I wanted to look back and laugh saying,"look what i did and you didn't think i'd make it." I guess it's hard when after a certen part in life i was just given up on by my school. Can I spell? no. Can i multiply? nooo. How's my hand writing? It sucks. My gramer? Could be alot better. It's funny my school, up untill 11th grade, was more concerned about my social life then my academics. Would it have just been better if i didn't fight the system and just let them have me untill i graduated from high school? Sometimes i really wonder about that. Oh yea and we must not forget my speech. yea that's right i either mumble, talk too fast, talk to low, or talk with a slight lisp. Who wants to be social when one dosen't like the way they talk. I know i shouldn't think about thease things but I do. I can't help it. It's there hidden in the back of my mind, nagging at me. Telling me i can't be normal...I shouldn't talk about this i'll start to cry...
I'm trying to pull up my grade in my Japan class i talked alot in my friday discussion i answerd a question and talked about what my reaction to the reading was. So i'll continue to do as i did and do well on my reasearch paper and pass the final.. oh god... this is going to be hell. But if i study alittle each weekend and with my tutor until the final i should be ok. Other than that i when to my advisor and told him about my japan class. He said it highly unlikely that i'll get kicked out of U of A for one E. If i had all Es well then there would be no help for me but with a D and two Bs i'm fine no worrys. with a D, 1 C and a B my GPA still would have gone up so i'd be ok plus it gives me points for talking to him so he can tell whoever reviews my grades that i've been coming to him. Also he said that if it were my 3rd smester i'd be in truble but since i'm a freshman i'd be ok as long as my other two class were ok too. That lifed alot off my chest after that.
Sarah and I found a place we liked. So when her mom comes we'll get to show her and hopefully sign the papers to get a place next year ^^;
Listning to some Army of Me this summer i wanna see them again they are so good live. Looks like i have a new anime/ manga obsesion. D.N.Angel so good. I can't wait to watch/read more. I think i might order some posters or wall scrolls for my room at home.. humm i like that idea.
Well off to spend dad's money on manga and anime.
~Laura
