12:36 a.m. - 2003-09-06
Should I stay or should i go home?
this week was way to long. after my weekend with my grandparents which was great, coming back to school just makes me sad. I donno how much i can take. I have a pack of cigerttets but i don't want to smome alot at once, i'm afride of addiction. I cryed alot today. It's hard here not just class but being here. I'm not ready. it's been 2 weeks i'll give it untell the smester break which is christmas, i know i won't want ot coem back here, shit i can't cry here i'm in a public place. My computer, my NEW fucking computer crashed and has been gone for two days and the computer people stil havn't fixed it. eveything is working against me. maybe i'll do school at montgomey college, that way i can live at home maybe get a job and go to school, who knows. This is so hard. I'm soo homesick and miss all my friends and my family... i cryed while my mom put my dog on the phone, how dumb is that? I'm eating alot becuse i'm sad or bored or both. i need help, i need to go home. O need my mommy! I need to grow up. maybe i could go to maryland or take a year off. here i go starting to get ears in my eyes. i try to wipe them off but they keep comming back. I should be happy, i've never been so sad, i'm such a happy person. I wonder if anyone reads this. i'm so the strong type i hardly ever cry. am i cut out for collage. I wonder am i the only one. Does nancy feel this way? I don't want to dissapoint my parents, fuck i'm crying. I need to get drunk, does anyone out there go to the U of Arizona if so Im me on my aim name pumkpinkhair aim or aol... Ok i'm goging to suft the net for something to do maybe soemthing to buy for my self.. untell next time.
Laura
